In May 2024, I had my “final straw“ moment. In her book Thrive, Arianna Huffington describes her final straw moment - that moment when one crosses a threshold and knows deeply in their being that something has to (I’m paraphrasing here) “radically change because you cannot continue to go on this way.” To me, my final straw moment sounded like this, “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! CHANGE MUST HAPPEN NOW OR I MAY NOT BE HERE TO CHANGE ANYTHING.” And just like Arianna Huffington, there were other times in my life before my final straw moment, when I knew I should have made changes, but hadn’t. This was my big wake-up call. And if I’m being honest, I was a bit mad at myself because I know better than to get to this point. All at once I needed to prioritize my own health, which is rather ironic for someone who spent a career working to improve the public’s health. It was clear I wasn’t taking care of my business, by which I mean my health. It was time to tend to my life.
Concussion and COVID, Oh My!
My final straw moment came when I fainted, hit my head, and suffered a concussion. I also had COVID which added to the mix of things that caused my blood pressure to drop and thus, I fainted. I hit my head hard on our hard tile floor. There was a pool of blood around my head when my husband Joe, who heard me scream, hurried down the stairs to see what happened. I was taken to the nearest head trauma hospital via ambulance. I was lucky that I didn’t have internal brain bleeding or any fractures from the fall. However, I was dehydrated, had a cut on my head requiring staples, and had COVID. I was also lucky in the way Ms. Huffington means when she wrote, “If you are lucky, you have a “final straw” moment before it’s too late.” I was doubly lucky and thankful to still be around to be able to make changes in my life.
There were so many medical appointments those first few months to deal with follow-up and complications from the injuries I sustained from my fall. I went on medical leave from work. When I went back to work part-time it was very clear I could no longer do my job in a way that it needed to be done. I left my public health job and navigated post-concussion syndrome. I embarked on my own path of healing, prioritizing healing habits, and dare I hope, improved skills of resilience. It’s been a journey.
Resilience – Am I Resilient?
I initially became interested in the topic of resilience during my husband Joe’s cancer journey. His prognosis was not good, and yet he committed to his treatment program and immediately changed behaviors to maximize the treatment and regain his health. I found so much written on the subject. I’ve studied and read much of what I found, yet there is still so much emerging on the topic! Dr. Amit Sood and Dr. Rick Hanson are two of my favorite writers on the topic of resilience. They both offer great resources to help you “lift the load” as Dr. Sood says. I found their resources helpful as I began to navigate my own journey of healing.
(Note: If you haven’t yet read Our Story, you might do so now for background info before continuing.)
Life kept rolling on with major world events happening - political, societal, health-related. By mid-2024, I found myself exhausted and burnt out. Before my fall, knowing I needed make changes, I began going back to the research I had done on resilience and applying its lessons in ways I hadn’t before. I had made so many changes throughout the years, but some things are hard to change, so I hadn’t bothered with all the things I knew I could be doing. I already exercised regularly, ate pretty well, journalled regularly, and have practiced daily quiet time. I had taken up meditation in 2018 when Joe’s cancer spread to his lungs and I felt I couldn’t breathe. I have supportive family members and friends whom I connect with regularly. But all of this didn’t seem to touch the anxiety I was feeling, the feeling of exhaustion that comes from living in survival mode. I needed to make changes but struggled to do so until I hit my final straw moment.
From Final Straw Moment to Finally Doing What I Need to Do
I’ll tackle health habits and topics one by one, blog by blog, sharing my journey, information and resources along the way. I do hope that you are inspired to make changes to improve your health and to tend to your own life prioritizing the important things, the things that matter.
If you would like to share your final straw moment please share in the Comment section below.
Be well,
Christine
My final straw moment came in December of 2016, when I learned of some serious betrayal and unequal compensation at my job. Confronting my superiors, I was not able to make any changes because my supervisor’s 5-year old son was suddenly diagnosed with an incurable brain cancer. At that moment, I “sat down.” That’s how I describe the moment when I learned that I couldn’t fix this situation, yet I couldn’t abandon it until my grieving supervisor returned from bereavement leave. It seemed an impossible situation, but “sitting down” (another way of saying becoming present and letting go) was the moment when I reclaimed a vision of my life that I had long abandoned and rediscovered my True Self.
Wow, Heidi, what a terrible thing to walk through. It’s so hard to be in the middle of bad circumstances. It’s refreshing to hear, and I’m glad for you, that you’ve come through and are in a better place.